Wishes...

I wish...

... I was done nursing school and was already working as a nurse so that I could go to Haiti and care for people there.

... some people would take more initiative to do things outside of themselves rather than isolating themselves into their own little world.

... I had the metabolism of boys so that I could eat all the food I want and not gain weight.

... there was more time to do everything; school, hobbies, spending time with people.

... my boys would get their butts in gear and score some goals! (re: Fantasy Hockey)

... the weather would get cold enough in Vancouver during the winter so that I could go skating outside for free.

... I had enough money in my pocket so I could enjoy Hawaii with my friends during Reading Week.

... I had my car so that I could escape to the mountains during my free time to hike/camp.

... my knee would stop hurting after I run.

... I was better at explaining myself (ie. feelings, thoughts, etc) and had better judgment in whom to share these with.

... I could be in 2 places at once especially since 2 of my good friends are getting married on the same day in July.

... my motivation to do things would kick in at the right times. When I'm busy with school, I want to draw, read, make music. When I have free time, I don't end up doing those things. Sigh...

... my brain was better at remembering details after reading, especially textbooks and the Bible.

... I wasn't in the dating period of my life.

... people would stop telling me who they want to set me up with.

... I knew better how to encourage my friends who are going through difficult times.

... to grow closer to God every moment of every day of my entire life.

Melancholic Melody

I don't know why, but there seems to be a part of me that just absolutely loves stories/songs/music/movies/etc that just yank at the heart. It's not that I like being wistful... or maybe I do. I guess it depends on my mood (and maybe my hormones?).

For example, this song by Ben Folds.


I said what you wanted to hear
And what I wanted to say
So I will take it back
Are all the dishes in tact
Let them be broken

It's easy to be
Easy and free
When it doesn't mean anything
You remain
Selfless, cold and composed

You've done me no
Favor to call and be nice
Telling me I
Can take anything I like
Your don't owe me to be so polite
You've done no wrong
You've done no wrong
Get out of my sight

It's easy to be
Easy and free
When it doesn't mean anything
To remain
Selfless, cold and composed

Come on baby
Now throw me a right to the chin
Don't just stare like you never cared
I know you did
You just smiled
Like a bank teller
Telling me blankly, have a nice life

Come on baby
Throw me a right to the chin
Just one sign
That could show me that you give a shit
But you just smile politely
And I grow weaker and I ...

Said what you wanted to hear
And what I wanted to say
So I will take it back

It's easy to be
Easy and free
When it doesn't mean anything
When it doesn't mean anything
You can take anything
So selfless, cold and composed

Love it but the lyrics, ouch... So heart breaking...

Sometimes, the world is such a sad place.