On His Plan for Your Mate...

This is something a friend shared with me this past summer. I really liked it so I thought I'd share it with you too :)


"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God, to a Christian, says, "No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with living loved by Me alone. I love you my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me - exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me the most thrilling plan existing - one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you - just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest thing - keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I Am. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you ... You must wait. Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or that I've given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you. And, then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any would ever dream. You see, until you are ready and the one I have for you is ready, I am working even this very minute to have both of you ready at the same time. Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me... and this is perfect love. And dear one, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you utterly. I Am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied."

- Author unknown

Boys in Bands (not boy bands)

Sigh, why are guys in rock bands so hot? Ok, maybe I shouldn't generalize but I do find that a lot of guys I find attractive are ones who play guit-boxes or almost any kind of instrument. Perhaps it's because I myself have a passion for music so my subconscious mind naturally feels drawn to them. One is Brent Scallions, formerly of the band, Fuel. "Shimmer" is one of my favorite songs from the band and I love this music video. It's too bad he's way too old for me and is also married :P

Homage to Marriages and Relationships...

Wow, it's been awhile since I've last posted...

I was in Edmonton this past weekend to be a bridesmaid at my friend, Mary's, wedding and what a fun time that was! I've never been a bridesmaid before so I didn't really know what kind of things I had to do as a bridesmaid, but Mary made it super easy for us. She had an itinerary for each day and for the reception as well so we knew what was coming, what we had to do when, and everything! She definitely has an A-type personality and it was really good because the wedding went seamlessly. We had enough time between hair/makeup and the ceremony to relax and chill, pictures were a lot of fun and we weren't rushed going from one place to another. It was colder later in the afternoon so taking the outdoor pics were a bit brutal... but the groomsmen were really nice and always gave us their jackets to keep us warm. The reception itself wasn't too long nor overdrawn and there was plenty of time to mingle with people. It was definitely a beautiful wedding and this was for sure a match made in heaven! (If you want the full story of how they met, ask me. I played a big part in their meeting!)

Barbara (Maid of Honor), Dustin (Best Man), and myself

There has been a steady increase in the number of weddings each year since 2nd year. Obviously I haven't been able to make it to all of the ones I've been invited too which is really sad because I would've loved to have gone, but it's crazy to think that I'm at that age where many of my friends are getting hitched! Some of them even have kids already!!

The more and more I see happy couples getting united on their special day, or even just dating couples enjoying their time together, the greater the desire to be in that kind of a relationship grows. Don't get me wrong, I am happy where I am now and have enjoyed my time learning about myself and who I am in God. However, I do eventually want to share my life with that special someone someday.

I've only had 1 boyfriend and we dated for 3 years. Since our breakup over a year ago, God has shown me a lot about what a Christ-centered relationship really looks like. I used to think I did nothing wrong in our relationship and that if something bad happened, it was usually due to him. I'm beginning to see how wrong and arrogant I was in thinking that. Yes, it's true that Dave hurt me sometimes, but I've equally hurt him too... maybe more.

The biggest question in my mind right now is, how do you keep Christ in the center of your relationship with your significant other? I've asked quite a few people this and I get the same answer: "We're still figuring that out." I guess I'm looking for an easy, to-the-point answer but I should remember that life doesn't serve everything to me on a silver platter.

Anyway, here are some things I've learned so far and I suppose it's a start:

• Loving God first and being in a good relationship with Him. I had made the mistake of putting Dave above God in my life. It wasn't good and God let me know He didn't like it either.
  
• Prioritizing him above others (but don't ignore everyone else either) and this includes enjoying quality time together, whether it be going for a walk or having a lunch date or going geo-caching, etc. I hated it when people dropped off the face of the planet once they started dating or got married so I tried to avoid that as much as possible... but I went to the other extreme where other people started taking priority over Dave and we never did have much quality time together. Yeah, I think I hurt him a lot by doing that.
  
• Giving is more important than wanting or receiving. I think our selfish sides want things for ourselves only; I want to feel good, I want to feel loved, I want to receive gifts, etc. and it's not necessarily bad, but being human we tend to focus too much on that. Especially as a woman, I forget that Eve was made to be Adam's helper. I think I was wanting Dave to be my helper rather than the opposite.
  
• Looking after the other's interest above yours. I think it's linked to the above point and it has to be a 2-way thing where both persons are looking out for the other's interest or else it doesn't work and you don't build each other up.
• Humbling yourself and admitting you're wrong when you are.
  
• Communication with honesty, respect, and grace. A guy's mind is definitely different than a girl's so unless you communicate, there will be a lot of hurt and misunderstandings.
• A willingness to share/get involved in a certain part of your special someone's life, even if you're not good at it. Dave took a Japanese class at university just so he could better communicate with my parents and it meant a lot to me. I feel bad that I didn't even think of doing anything like that for him.
• Having fun, always being willing to keep learning things about each other, and finding ways to love each other on a deeper level.
  

Relationships are complicated but I think are definitely rewarding. You have a partner to laugh, cry, have fun, go through hard times, and a whole bunch of other stuff with and they know you inside out so you're able to just be yourself.

I think the biggest thing I need to remember though, being single and all, is that I need to keep running hard towards Jesus rather than frantically looking around to see who's around that could be my next potential mate. It's hard to do, especially when it feels like all your friends are in a happy relationship, but persevering through that is one way of guarding my heart from unnecessary hurt and pain which come from rash and foolish actions/choices. God wants the best for me and is willing to give me the best by His love and grace so why settle for anything less?

Sticks, Stones and Words...

I was standing at the bus stop yesterday, waiting for the 49 to come my way so I could meet everyone at campus to head off to Passion (which by the way was absolutely phenomenal and you should really consider going if you ever have a chance to). I had come a little too early (or the bus that was supposed to be there at 4:26 did not come as the schedule online had said it would) so I was standing in the rain with my umbrella out, thoughtlessly staring at whatever my eyes happened to land on. All of a sudden, out of nowhere I hear, "~~~You're a SLUT!!!!!!!"

Stunned out of my daze, I snapped my head up just to see a young, yuppie-looking Asian guy in a BMW sticking his head back into his car as he sped off into the distance. I was shocked. Never in my life have I ever been called that before. I didn't know what to think. After the shock wore off, a surge of emotions rose deep within me; confusion, anger, hurt.

Why did he call me that? Do I look like one? Was I dressed like one? Did he say it as a joke thinking I was a friend of his? Did he say it because he thought it was funny or thought it would make him look cool or something?

Why am I so upset about it? I know I'm not one and really, there's nothing I can do about it now. He's long gone in his fancy car and I'll probably never ever see him again. I know I should forgive him, but it's hard to fully do that in my heart. This senseless act of rudeness totally caught me off guard. Remembering Jesus though, he dealt with crap all the time; he understands how I feel. Thinking about Jesus helped to lift some of that dark cloud. The Holy Spirit will have to keep working in me so I can truly 100% forgive that guy.

It hurt to be called a slut once and to think of all the other women being called that to their faces constantly is heart-wrenching. I hear people joke around and call each other profane names all the time, but what seems harmless I don't think is as harmless as people think. If people are being called slut, whore, stupid, retarded, no-gooder, ugly, fugly, fat, s***head, b****, gay, useless, worthless, etc etc etc all the time, it's going to eat away at their souls and eventually, they're going to give in to those lies and believe that they're a nobody that deserves all the awful things said to them. It's true. I've heard and seen too many stories where this has occurred and it's still happening at an alarming rate.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is such a horrible lie. Words do hurt and much deeper than people give thought to it.

James 3:8b says that the tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. There is so much truth in that. Physical pain can be manageable and most people can mentally overcome it. However, pain caused by words, how do you escape from that because it attacks both psychological and mentally?

There is so much weight in the words we speak, more than we realize. I hope that guy will come to know how much his words can wound people so that more won't be hurt by it.

That goes for me as well. If I say anything to you that is really senseless and hurtful, please let me know so I can apologize and be watchful not to say it again.

Reminiscing...

I seem to have a love for songs that are at least 5 years old or more. I don't really know why. Maybe it's because I don't really care for the "what's new and in" category as mentioned in a previous post.

I just played guitar for 2 hours and it was refreshing. Most of the songs I looked up and played were big hits about 10 years ago and most of them are sorta melancholy-ish. I seem to gravitate towards those kinds of songs. I don't really know why. Maybe it's because... oh, I dunno. I can't explain it.

Anyway, these are some good 'ers that I enjoyed when I was younger and still quite enjoy today:
Fuel - Hemorrhage (In My Hands)
Fuel - Shimmer
Foo Fighters - Everlong
Oasis - Wonderwall
Incubus - Drive
Incubus - I Wish You Were Here
Our Lady Peace - Is Anybody Home?
Third Eye Blind - Jumper

Fine by Default

Walking through SUB one day, Joe ran into his friend, Mitchell.
"Hey, sup buddy? How are you?"
"Fine," Mitchell responds, though his demeanor radiates the feeling of a dark cloud overhead.
"Are you sure? You look like crap. What's up?" Joe says with concern.
"I said I'm fine," Mitchell glares. And with that, he quickly darts away, dissolving into the mob of students heading off to their respective destinations.


I hate it when people say, "I'm fine" when I ask them how they are. Wine is fine. Chocolate is fine. Weather is fine. Pens can be fine (point). Not people. I think the reason I detest to using it or being used by others is because my Outdoor Ed teacher in Grade 8 lectured us on it one day. He would say that "fine" doesn't describe what is actually going on and it could potentially lead to real problems, especially in the wilderness. "Fine" doesn't help in an emergency situation.

Why is it that in this day and age, we aren't able to communicate what's really going on? I'm guilty of this too but whenever people ask "How are you?", the immediate response is, "I'm fine" or "I'm good" supplemented by an overly exaggerated bright smile (or maybe that's just me).

I know that sometimes, we say we're good when really we're not because we don't want the other person to worry because we think that person already has enough things to worry about. Or because we know that even though we aren't doing ok at the moment, things will get better; the rough patches will get smoothed out and there's hope.

However, it seems as though it's become a habit to say, "I'm good". It's our default response and we don't even really think about how we really are doing. I'm guilty of that too.

So why is it so hard to say how we really are? Why aren't we able to be honest about it? Perhaps it has to do with pride; we don't like being vulnerable to people. We aren't able to receive sympathy because we think it makes us look weak. But if we put up this wall, how can we have meaningful relationships with others?

Maybe we're trying to convince ourselves that we are alright by saying that we are; reverse psychology. But isn't that just running away from our problems rather than dealing with it and overcoming? That just causes more problems in the end.

Deep down, we all desire to be known, to be loved so deeply that no matter what happens, we'll still be loved anyway. In order for that to happen, we need to be honest with ourselves and with others. We need to stop thinking so highly of ourselves. We need to take that risk of being hurt or ignored or even judged when we say what's really going on deep down. I'm not saying that you have to spill everything to everyone and also, not everyone will be your best friend and will care, but unless you open up, no one can be a true friend to you even if they want to. "Fine" doesn't cut it. "Fine" builds walls, not break them down.

True community shares in everything; the good, the bad and the ugly. There is also a good level of trust. Unless we get to that point, every relationship we have with anyone will be shallow and one day, we'll wake up to the hard reality that no one knows the real you because you never put in the effort to be known.